


A Very Kind Snake

by TheGirlWithBrightEyes



Series: Fragments of Life [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Children, Fluff and Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 06:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20403484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithBrightEyes/pseuds/TheGirlWithBrightEyes
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have some very tiny visitors at their South Down cottage, who discover that there is a great snake in the conservatory...





	A Very Kind Snake

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation when this popped up in my head...
> 
> If any reader has kids I would adore fanart for this! <3

Aziraphale was sitting in the living room of his and Crowley's South Downs cottage, deeply engrossed in a crossword with a half full mug of tea when he was rudely interrupted by shrill shrieks from outside. Jumping nearly out of his skin he whipped the spectacles off his nose and he was just about to get up when two little girls - barely older than ten - came cantering inside through the kitchen door. They were highly excited and looked terrified.

"Good Heavens!" Aziraphale exclaimed as the girls more or less collided with him in their hurry to hide behind him. "What on Earth is the matter, children?" he said, bewildered. He had no idea where the children came from, but gathered they most likely adhered from the farmhouse a bit down the road.

"There's a snake in the greenhouse!" the oldest of the girls cried, eyes round. "It was huge!" Her sister - or so Aziraphale assumed - nodded frantically whipping her arms about. The angel went 'oh', realisation dawning on him.

"Now, now, my dears," he started with a rather amused smile. "It is a kind snake, I can guarantee. Look, come here." He took the two girl by the hands. "Let us go say hello to the kind snake, shall we?" The oldest girl stared at him.

"...it's a kind snake...?"she said in something like disbelief, but it was mixed with the curiosity only a child could muster. Aziraphale couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh yes. It is a very kind snake indeed," he said, raising his voice slightly as he led the children through the glass doors out into the conservatory. Quite predictably, Crowley lay basking in the warmth of the May sun in his 20 feet long snake form, great coils twisted to take in as much sunlight as he could. "Here he is, the very kind snake," Aziraphale said fondly, emphasizing the word _kind_.

"It won't...bite?" one of the girls said, looking thoroughly excited at the prospect. Aziraphale looked owlishly at her, then sighed softly.

"Of course not. Look here," he let their hands go and went over to Crowley, passing his hand over the sleek and warm coils coming up to rub lightly over Crowley's head. If the demon had been asleep before it, he certainly woke up now and tasted the air with his tongue. "We have two curious visitors," the angel murmured to him. "Children. I'm going to let them pat you if they want to. I promise I will make it up to you later, dearest." Crowley shrunk back from his touch slightly then lay still. "Thank you." Aziraphale leaned over to peck Crowley's forehead, then turned to the two girls. "You see, he is very kind. Not dangerous at all."

"Wow." The two girls carefully edged closer and the older of them hesitantly reached out to graze with her fingertips against the black and copper scales. The coils twitched and moved slightly away from the hand and the girl let out a delighted laughter. Braver, she put her hands on Crowley. "It's warm," she said happily, then put her cheek against the snake. "Like our cats when they've been lying in the sun." Aziraphale chuckled, watching her little sister come up to pat beside her.

"It is rather the same thing. Well, the sunbathing at the very least," he corrected himself.

"Prettier than a cat though," the littlest girl said, admiring the copper scales. "But not as soft." Aziraphale's mouth twitched.

"Oh he is glorious," he agreed, absentmindedly caressing Crowley. "Most beautiful snake there ever was and he is very old." He smiled. "Well, then. Did you come here to say hello?" he said, taking the girls by the hand again as he led them out of the conservatory to leave Crowley alone.

"Nu-oh!" the littlest girl said. "Mum sent us to borrow baking so-so," she frowned and her sister filled in 'baking soda'. Blinking, Aziraphale tried to remember what baking soda was and what it was used for. Baking he assumed but besides that... As they got into the kitchen he turn back.

"Crowley, dear! Do we have any baking soda?" he called out as loudly and clearly as he could, waiting. After a moment that felt as long as a minute Crowley appeared in the door looking rather sleepy.

"Did I hear you correctly? Baking soda?" he asked looking rather confused. Aziraphale nodded, then motioned to the children. "Oh. Um." He made a small face, crinkling his nose as he went over to the cleaning cupboard and pulled out a box that Aziraphale felt sure had not been there before. He disposed it on the table, then leaned back against the counter.

"Ah, there we are," Aziraphale smiled, a bit too widely wondering what on earth the baking soda would belong in the cupboard with cleaning supplies for. "Baking soda. Thank you, dear," he said to Crowley, who just shrugged. "Here you go, girls," he then added, giving them the box.

"Thank you, uncle!" the biggest girl said happily, echoed by her sister, before the children ran off. Aziraphale breathed out a sigh of relief once they were gone.

"Cute kids," Crowley commented and Aziraphale gave him an apologetic look.

"Oh I am so sorry, love, I didn't know what else to do. They saw you through the glass and..."Crowley waved it off, not looking cross at all to the angel's great relief.

"I heard them scream," he explained. "I hope they don't make a habit of wanting to pet the snake though. Believe it or not but I am ticklish in that form." Aziraphale did a double take.

"Ticklish? A ticklish snake?" he repeated and watched with great satisfaction how Crowley's neck, ears and cheeks grew red. He looked highly affronted, especially once Aziraphale started laughing at him.

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in," he muttered, making a face, glowering at the angel that was laughing so much he had to sit down.

A couple of days later Crowley had wandered out to the mailbox before breakfast to get the newspaper Aziraphale had insisted on - only they didn't deliver every day so it was more of a stack of newspapers - and found something else in there.

"Aziraphale." He stopped in the doorway. "This is just humiliating..."he added, giving the angel a 'just shoot me'-look as he waved a piece of paper. Puzzled, Aziraphale got over and plucked it from his hands. He took one look at it and burst out laughing again, hand covering his mouth.

"Oh this is so _precious_!" he managed through laughter and Crowley gave him a resigned look. "We'll have to frame it and put it on the conservatory door!"

"No, no, no, _please_...I _beg_ you..."Crowley started, squirming where he stood, half wishing he'd just dumped the paper in dustbin. But of course he hadn't, because deep down he had to agree with the angel that it was indeed rather cute.

It was a child's drawing of a large black and orange snake with a red heart over its head and the childishly misspelled 'very kind snek'.


End file.
